So, you've decided to start therapy?

If you're thinking about starting therapy, you've recently started, or you're just wondering what it's all about, this is the blog for you!

There can be a lot of mystery surrounding therapy, and many misconceptions which often arise from an unhelpful portrayal of therapy on T.V. and in the media generally. I aim to give you a taste of what to expect, at least from the kind of therapy I offer, which is Person-Centred. 

I think it will be helpful to begin by debunking some therapy myths:

• Therapy is only for people who have reached a crisis point and are feeling desperate. Truth: while therapy can be a lifeline for people who feel hopeless, maybe even suicidal, you do not need to be feeling this way to benefit from counselling. People come to counselling for all sorts of different reasons, such as finding deeper meaning or direction in their life, or becoming more self-aware. 
• A therapist will give interpretations and advice about my life. Truth: a good therapist will work with you to help you find your own understanding and solutions. Nobody knows you better than you know yourself. Your therapist may, on occasion, offer information or signposting, but it is up to you whether you do anything with this. 
• Needing to see a therapist is a sign of weakness. Truth: recognising when you need support, seeking out the appropriate help and voicing your concerns are signs of great courage and strength. 
• A therapist will ask me difficult questions about things I don't want to discuss. Truth: a good therapist will show a natural curiosity, and may ask some questions, but they will not push you beyond what you are comfortable sharing. A person-centred therapist is non-directive in their approach, so will try not to jump ahead of you by asking leading questions. 

What to expect
If you decide to have therapy with me, here are some helpful pointers about what you might expect.

At the introductory session: this is a chance for us to get to know each other and notice how the dynamic feels. Can we imagine working well together for a course of sessions, perhaps even long-term?

I will ask you some questions about your background, lifestyle, key relationships and what has brought you to counselling. I'll help you to consider any goals you might have. I will also share the contract and ask if you wish to add or tweak anything, as this is a two-way agreement- not a list of rules I impose on you! 

During regular sessions: if we both feel O.K. to continue working together, I will offer further sessions. These are led by you, and you can decide what you would like to explore. I will listen to you, and help you identify the emotions you are feeling. Often clients find that by hearing words, phrases and even body language reflected back to them, they gain deeper clarity and insight. 

Sometimes it can take a while to "warm-up" to therapy. It may even feel a bit awkward at first. This is completely normal as it can take time to build trust and feel comfortable with someone new, especially as you are sharing very personal things.  You will soon find your flow. However, if you change your mind about working with me, or the time doesn't feel right, it's perfectly fine to say so. You are always very welcome to get in touch again in the future. 

Some people think that when they start therapy, things will quickly start to feel better.  While this can be true, it's actually very normal to feel some uncomfortable emotions. Opening up wounds can be painful and you may find that life unravels a bit as you deconstruct core-beliefs and begin to change the way you think and act in day-to-day life. This is all part of healing and growth. 

Top tips to get the most from therapy:

1. Try to find a time for therapy that suits you best. If possible, it's a good idea to allow a little time after the end of the session to let things settle and to help you feel ready for the rest of the day. Having a little ritual such as making a cup of tea or going for a short walk may help. 
2. You don't have to talk the whole time. Silence can be useful for processing and reflecting. 
3. All feelings are welcome, and this includes feelings of uncertainty or frustration about the therapy itself, or about me as the therapist. It is really helpful if you can voice these, or ask any questions you might have, as this can allow deeper work, and honesty helps to build the therapeutic relationship. 
4. You don't have to plan what you will talk about at each session, but if you notice certain emotions and reactions in between sessions, this can be a good starting point to discuss together. 
5. If you have chosen to have bi-weekly sessions, but are finding that it feels difficult to get the momentum going, we may be able to move to weekly sessions, at least for a while, depending on availability. Equally, if you've opted for weekly sessions, but this feels too frequent, we can easily drop down to once a fortnight. 
6. The therapy is for you, no one else. You don't need to tell other people you are having therapy, unless you want to, and if they ask you about it, it's perfectly fine to say you'd rather not discuss it. 
7. Remember to be gentle with yourself. Everyone is different and you will move at your own pace. Give yourself credit for showing up and trust yourself!

All the best for this exciting journey to becoming a more self-aware, authentic you. This is probably one of the most precious gifts you will ever give yourself!