Practical ideas to help manage overwhelming emotions

At times, emotions can hit us with the full force of a tsunami, and frankly, we wonder if we will survive. Think about the inconsolable sorrow felt when a loved one dies, the intense fury when someone betrays you, or the crippling stress of a complex and seemingly impossible task.

The fact is, though, that we DO survive. We are wired for survival. We are often more resilient than we give ourselves credit for. Think about the last time you were overwhelmed, and felt like it was the end of the world. You’re still here.

This blog gives some practical ideas when you’re in the thick of it, and I hope there is at least one thing you can take away from it and store for that moment when it all feels too much. This can also be a good resource for clients who are wondering how to navigate their emotions between therapy sessions. These are things that I have personally found helpful in my own journey, but as with everything, there’s no one size fits all. Not everything will work for you, and that’s OK. 

* Pause. Take a few moments to identify the emotion. Where are you feeling it in your body? Validate your emotion. It’s ok to be feeling this way. Try to understand what may have triggered it. Is there some unmet need that could be attended to? 

* Journal. Allow yourself to write a stream of consciousness, without worrying about the grammar or spelling. Or why not draw or paint the emotions? This will allow you to process them.

* Breathe. Take some moments to be still and focus on grounding yourself by tuning into your breath. There are many breathing exercises online, or apps which can give you some relaxation techniques or guide you through meditations. An easy one to start with is just breathing in for the count of five and out through the nose for five, several times. 

* Prioritise. If you’re overwhelmed with an endless list of tasks, focus on the most important, and put other things off till you’re feeling able to face them. Often the washing or dusting can wait!

* Practise self-compassion. If a friend was feeling this way, what would you say to them to comfort them? Can you say those things to yourself? Remember, your mental well being is important. Speak kindly and gently to yourself instead of beating yourself up. Prioritise self-care. 

* Engage in easy, tasks that don't require too much thought. Something you don’t mind doing- maybe ironing, cooking, gardening, or D.I.Y. Or do a mindful activity like some colouring, a puzzle or knitting.

* Focus on the present moment. You may be feeling dread about the future. But remember, the future is made up of many moments, just like this one. You cannot change the past, and you can’t predict the future. But by being more present in the here and now, you will feel more of a sense of control. 

* Change of scene. If possible, take yourself to a different environment. Go for a coffee, a run or walk in nature, swimming or shopping. Do something that will shift your energy.

* Create routines and hold boundaries. Try to maintain regular getting up and going to bed routines. See if you can contain any rumination within allotted times (sometimes easier said than done). Have clear cut-off times for work and household tasks.

Most importantly, take small steps and don't berate yourself if the above points are difficult to implement. They can take a lifetime of honing, but they will begin to become more natural the more you practise them.